We all know a certain someone, who has a big ego. If you don't, then that person is probably you.
Nah, I'm tweaking, I'm not going to attack anyone, but rather help. Dealing with a bigger ego was / is a problem I've been dealing with since I started working on myself in 2019. My perception of self-value grew as I improved on multiple aspects of my life, thinking I was superior to others, who were just vibing and livin' their life.
Stupid, isn't it? But the beautiful thing about ego is that you don't recognise it until it's bigger than a Good Year's blimp (the weird fucking sausage flying in the sky, google it)
With this blog, I'll talk from personal experience - what are the obvious signs that one has a big ego, and how to control it. Firstly you'll need to know when to check your ego (having an ego can be an advantage in some cases). Then we'll work on recognising a big ego. Lastly, we'll gain an understanding of how to put ego in check.
Step 1: Know When To Check Your Ego
Having a healthy inner ego, called confidence, is not always a bad thing. There is a line between confidence and having a big ego. Being confident means believing in your own set of skills, capabilities and competencies, while having an ego means believing that it's the right thing that society should know about your skills, capabilities and competencies.
There are many subtle signs you should observe while using social media, engaging in conversations, or just going about your daily life.
I mentioned some of them on my IG @edisbabahmetovic, but there are plenty more, like:
Getting defensive and possibly even angry when someone critiques you / your work
Tendency to interrupt others a lot
Being extremely opinionated. Your opinion is right 100% and no one can convince you otherwise.
Feeling the need to constantly tell others about your successes, whether that be getting a new certificate, job, car, or just talking about how good your triceps looks in the mirror
Blaming and pointing fingers at others, because you're perfect
Using "I am" a lot when speaking
Looking down on your friends, family, society and maybe even God himself.
Comparing yourself to others in an unhealthy way (if you want to read more on this topic, check out this blog)
And many more... These are the obvious ones, but once you start seeing your behaviour isn't aligned with humility and gratitude, you'll understand and recognise many more patterns that signal towards a big ego.
Step 2: Recognise By Being In The Present Moment
BEING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT IS THE FIRST STEP to even acknowledge that you behave as stated above.
Listen to what you're saying and observe yourself. Don't just talk, but also listen to the words that are coming out of your mouth.
"Wait, what did I just say"
"I shouldn't have said that"
"That was mean"
"Maybe he was right"
"Why did I say that"
Once you get that "aha moment", or in other words, as soon as you get to that point of inner realization that what you said is a sign of having a big ego, you can move on to the last step.
Step 3: Put Your Ego in Check
It takes practice, but the trick is to be proactive instead of reactive. You'll need to pause for a moment and think twice before responding.
In the beginning, you'll catch that you said something with a sense of a higher self-value after you actually say it. Nevertheless, some time has to pass in order to catch yourself before you speak.
Realize that you're not perfect and that there are people who are smarter than you.
Understand that you can mess up too and that it's okay not to be right all the time.
Because by thinking that way, you allow yourself to see your weaknesses and points, on which you can improve in the future.
Your opinion is formed by talking, reading and listening to others. And if your opinion stays the same all your freaking life, then you haven't learned anything. That's why you have to be more open to new perspectives, ideas and facts.
Act with humility and gratitude. I don't know if you believe in God, but being grateful for what you have is an enormous step towards checking your ego. Be thankful, even for little things. Stay humble too. Humility is a virtue, and it comes with being true to oneself. Give compliments, well-deserved ones when due.
It may be a hard pill to swallow if you realize that you do have egotistic tendencies. But the fact that you read that blog with an open mind, proves 2 things. Either you made your first step towards bettering yourself by understanding that you may not be as perfect as you think, or, you're already open to constructive critic, new perspectives, and are going by your daily life with humility and gratitude.
Hopefully, you learned something from this blog and found the tips useful. I am posting a blog every 2 weeks - if you have any requests about what I should write next, don't hesitate to contact me on my socials :)
LinkedIn: Edis Babahmetovic
Facebook: Edis Babahmetovic
Disclaimer: I am by no means perfect. I have a big ego. I realized that when I started going to the gym in my high-school years, flexing my triceps at every mirror I saw. I once got a look from my friend that stuck with me for a long time, into my college years (he'll probably know who he is if he decides to read this blog).
That look woke me up, as it signalled that my behaviour had ego written all over it. And to tell the truth, I still think I'm egoistic sometimes. But I try to improve that on a daily basis. And I think that's what matters the most.